How wonderful is it that we are all so different? Each and every one of us with our unique ways.
Yes, even those people that we sometimes don’t see eye to eye with. Those that we ask ourselves ‘what were they thinking?.’ Not that this ever happens in Phase Trust office, of course…
As people, we all think so differently, feel so differently, prioritise our own variety of needs and deal with challenges in diverse ways. So of course, it’s no surprise that this can result in us questioning as to why people do things a certain way because, after all, our way is the best way, right?
The truth is our differences are our gifts. We aren’t meant to be the same or make the same choices. I know this won’t be a revelation for you; we have heard this throughout our lives, but do we consider this when we are interacting with others? When we begin to notice our differences as the gifts that ourselves and others have, we are more likely to appreciate the variety of strengths amongst us, rather than us being disappointed when our expectations of how others should act are not met.
As a charity supporting children, young people and their families, people could assume that we are all great at working with children of all ages, however this is totally not true! My gifts of communication definitely don’t step into action until the child I’m working with reaches about twelve years old. Having to keep up a continuous high level of enthusiasm without the use of sarcasm, in a room full of primary age children is my worst nightmare. I’m in awe of our primary team and so thankful for my colleagues who do possess those qualities! However at times, if I don’t remember this, it is obviously possible for me to not receive their enthusiasm with such a grateful heart.
In the same way, on occasions when I’m in the midst of making a decision led by my feelings or reacting to something and allowing my emotions to lead the way, which would be my natural default, I may not always welcome a ‘thinkers’ opinion on the matter. In the same way, when they are busy thinking their way through a plan, making choices that seem logical, they probably don’t overly appreciate me pointing out how someone’s feelings could be impacted. If you are reading this as a ‘thinker,’ I know you now dislike me, but the truth is the world needs both types of people and everything in between. I’m sure if I didn’t have chance to walk alongside some thinkers in my life, my journey would be a lot more chaotic.
There are lots more examples of how we need a range of different people in our lives and by no means do I have this all worked out myself, but I will continue to try and remind myself of others’ qualities and gifts, as well as my own. So, I challenge you to also think of someone else in your life, could be a work colleague, family member, whoever but someone you sometimes find it difficult to interact with, and list all their strengths and gifts, especially those that are different to your own. Think about how they may have used their strengths to support you or how you have benefited from them being in your life. Perhaps next time you are connecting with this person and you find yourself asking why they have done something a certain way, remind yourself of the different strengths you both have and how this may lead you to see something in a different way.
Charlene Cowdell
Exploitation – HSB Lead