A wise man once said, “Don’t be afraid to start over again. This time, you’re not starting from scratch, you are starting from experience.”
Sometimes things just don’t go to plan. And that’s OK.
This afternoon, my son was due to have a drumming lesson after school, but he suffers from migraines, and one of these started just as we were leaving school and even with paracetamol he wasn’t well enough to go. He was very disappointed; he really enjoys his drumming lessons.
However, while he was resting and trying to sleep off his migraine, I found myself being able to sort out some tasks at home that I had not been able to do for a few days and I then had time to pause and relax in my sun-trap of a back garden (some sunshine – at last!). I was able to enjoy my flowers and the peace and quiet. For a few minutes. Something I have not been able to do for a couple of weeks due to busy work and life schedules.
So I’m basing my blog on this: life throws us curveballs. That’s a very popular saying. But it’s true. Whether we are someone who just goes with the flow or whether we have to plan and organise to make sure our world around us works, things happen which just weren’t part of the plan.
Something I am slowly learning to do is to accept the rubbish, the tough situations that come out of the blue. Those who know me know that because I am a planner, a perfectionist and like people around me to be OK, I have often struggled with this. Struggled when things go wrong and can’t be “fixed” or easily sorted. But the more issues that have cropped up, the more broken I have felt and the more I have learned to let go and to accept the good things and the really rubbish things, and to try acknowledge some of the good things that can come out of some of our toughest, darkest times.
Another way of thinking is to take one day at a time, one step at a time, and as the quote says, keep going, learn from what’s happened if you can, but just keep going.
Working for Phase Trust and supporting children and young people and their families, the majority of our role is aimed at being an advocate for those we work with and providing safe and supportive places for them to feel accepted and heard and to encourage them to feel more confident about who they are. Often we come alongside them to help them find solutions and to guide them towards making more positive choices. Sometimes, the changes are not always obvious in the time scale in which we work with them and that’s OK. A lot of the changes occur deep within our young people, the way they think and how they see themselves. The more obvious changes, develop over time.
As part of our support to young people, here are some of the key messages we communicate, and it might be that you need to take one or more of these on board for you:
- Who you are right now is enough; you are amazing;
- Keep persevering in making choices that help you rather than hinder your personal success (some people do not know what the end goal is but that’s ok, small steps will get you there);
- You have a valuable contribution to make to those around you, your voice and opinion matters;
- Try to make the most of the here and now and not dwell on the past or think too much about the unknown in your future;
- Make sure you take some time to do what you enjoy.
If you know of any children, young people or families who need some support for whatever reason please get in touch with us on firstname.lastname@example.org
Lead Personal Development Officer